The universe is full of questions, are we alone? Why are we here? Which cafe’s have free WiFi for more than an hour? These are the important questions, and there are few equipped to tackle such important questions. You need an inquisitive mind and the willingness to look past what you see on the face of reality and look deeper to find the higher truth. But a mind alone is not enough, you can’t just sit on the sofa and contemplate life, not when there’s an urban jungle to look contemplatively at, it’s not enough to think of the universe, but you also have to be seen thinking, otherwise you’re just wasting time.

I don’t know why the bench is such a perfect place for deep thought, perhaps it’s something to ponder later. It’s difficult to objectively state which the best locations are as my human experience is different from yours, however considering I took the time to explore Auckland and discover the “thought hot spots”, I am most likely better than you, thus my opinions are better than so called facts and research.

Here is a list of the best benches in Auckland to sit and contemplate the universe, based on the gut feeling of a quasi-philosophical expert.


fort street 2We start downtown, a space full of bars and cafes, but we don’t need such frivolity, we’re deep in thought, one just needs an inquisitive mind, and perhaps a coffee and a bar of chocolate if you get low on energy, let us not forget the needs of the flesh.

This space is defined by its relative seclusion among such a popular area, people trail off to the bars and nightlife, while the true hot spot is here on the wood that sits beneath you and the grey matter between your ears.

+ Pros: Ambiance, a nice view of the urban jungle to inspire thought, range of snacks at close hand in case you get peckish, a number of activities for when you’ve finished thinking.

– Cons: Can be loud on busy nights, quite popular for sitting for non thinkers.


albert park x

The urban jungle isn’t always the ideal place to sit and contemplate, sometimes you feel the need to immerse yourself in nature.

But how do you maximize thinking time without the hassle and stress of bringing yourself to nature? Ah my friend the city provides, the city park, where you can get as close to nature without having to actually go anywhere.

You just stroll to the park, and find whatever inspires, for example the Queen Victoria statue, a great monument, ample location to ponder the fickleness of mortality and revel in history that has come before.

+ Pros: Easy to locate, inspiring statue.

– Cons: Statue can be distracting


albert park 4

Sometimes the deep thinker needs to be free of distractions, like such a frivolous monument to imperialism that is the Queen Victoria statue.

Not only do we need to avoid distractions, we must also seek out opportunities to be seen avoiding distractions, and where perfect to create this effect than this statue.

Having achieved an appropriate level of self importance you and free from distractions you can reach new levels of deep thoughts and potentially find that key to the secret of the universe.

+ Pros: Lacking in distractions

– Cons: Lacking in inspiring imagery


albert park canon

War is bad, and sometimes you just need to be a statement! Some would record a scathing Vlog, others would write a scathing comment on social media, but why go to so much effort when you can simply sit on a bench, and turn away from the war.

It’s the perfect statement, and it keeps you away from war, because if you can’t see war, war can’t see you.

+ Pros: Great way to avoid war, also good for anti-war selfies



auckland lib

Ah the sum of human knowledge, where better to sit and ponder than here, the cultural hub, with an art gallery close by this area is plentiful for those in need of the bounty of inspiration (there is a convenience store nearby if you also want an actual bounty, needs of the flesh and all that).

You can consume ideas from great people that have come before and sit and ponder those, or you can reject them and come up with ideas even better, ooh at you, you revolutionary you.

+ Pros: Great location to be inspired, cheap printing and copying facilities (great for printing manifestos), if you sit in the right spot you can get library wifi (even after hours), indie cinema close by

– Cons: Skateboarders can be distracting, ART IS DEAD


aotea square

Ah Aotea Square, another way to get close to nature without actually getting close to nature. Aotea Square is even better as it contains the minimum amount of nature to be considered nature, a couple trees and some grass, it’s like being in a park without having to go to a park.

It is of course at this moment you see nature up close to the rest of the city, the monument to consumerist culture and you realize that life is meaningless, a nice smug grin plants neatly on your face, before the revelation totally hits home and the grin disappears into the ether along with your hopes and dreams.

+ Pros: Several eateries, cafes and bars, so lots of room for activities



silo park

Life is meaningless, all that’s left is to put your head in your hands and bemoan your lack of delusion, you turn to anger, raise your fists to the air and curse every deity you can think of and then realize that they’re not there, you’re all alone, people must be told!

You make your way to the new trendy hub of Silo Park, which is by the waterfront and has a great selection of restaurants and bars, and you tell whoever will listen, life is devoid of all meaning.

When you are exhausted and hoarse, you slump down on the closest bench you can find, although admitted this one is more grassy than the others.

+ Pros: Pleasant atmosphere and room for activities

– Cons: PEOPLE ARE SHEEP, this bench also lacks in back support.

About The Author

Oliver Smith
Editor - Comedy

Casual blogger and comedian, pop culture enthusiast/obsessive/critic, ambivalent about dogs, cats can bugger off.

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3 Responses

  1. Paul

    Very helpful, I find myself worrying about where to be seen worrying about the place our world has in this universe. Thank you for pointing these out – I am familiar with a couple of them already, but will have to experiment with different angles (RE: the statue) for maximum contemplative value.


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