The great thing about the internet is that anyone can be successful. The bad thing about the internet is that anyone can be successful. I feel bad for the lucky pricks that make a living on Youtube. Every unique video is swamped under a sea of reaction videos, thousand part Minecraft Let’s Plays, incompetent fitness coaches and Smosh sketches.

There are no prizes for guessing what Youtuber’s life is about. It’s another entry in the less than stellar ‘Tycoon’ subgenre of Simulation games. It reminds me of Game Dev Tycoon, an excellent, charming little time-sink of a mobile game, crossed with The Sims.

Youtuber’s Life was developed by U-Play Online. I initially thought the developer was a mutated offshoot of U Play, Ubisoft’s abomination of a DRM platform. U-Play Online produces mobile games as interesting and innovative as its title.

Youtuber’s Life is the developer’s first foray into PC gaming; Despite appearing fairly polished, the game is still in ‘Early Access’, which I read as ‘Barely Playable’. This game feels like a “Let’s Player’s game”, like Goat Simulator. PewDiePie and every other annoying pillock with a PC and a microphone are going to make one video on this game and then never touch it again. Ever.

I imagine U-Play Online expects Let’s Players to come back to this game after more features are released, but they will have lost all interest by then. From a technical standpoint, this game could run on a three year old microwave. It ran well on my average PC with only a few hick ups, but I suffered no crashes.

The settings menu are virtuall. You can change the resolution, graphics quality (in general) and the volume. Want to disable tutorials? Want to increase the difficulty? What to disable v-sync? Go to hell. What, this game isn’t good enough for you? How dare you.

12345678The game’s main menu shows an androgenous character mucking around on their computer. The pixelated image on the screen, compounded with the terrible, jazzy main menu them makes it look like the character is admiring Low Quality Hentai that they downloaded from Limewire in 2005.

The character creation screen is incredibly barebones, you can only dress your Pop Vinyl figure of a character in several outfits. You can choose what your character talks about on their channel, for lack of a better word, I’m gonna call them ‘classes’. I wanted my character to be one of those guys on youtube who rants about Social Justice Warriors and Conservativism while a still image of his avatar dominates the screen, but at time of writing, you can only be a ‘Youtube gamer’. Literally the lowest of the low.

There are also some other classes that your character can choose, Music, Lifestyle, Cooking and Fashion…. But they aren’t available yet. Slightly disappointed, I dressed my character like a sex offender and started my journey to be the richest, least talented in Youtuber in history.

The game’s first cutscene shows the protagonist livin’ it up as a big shot youtube producer with his own YouTube network, managing a team of similarly annoying shitheads. The Game’s narrative presents itself as autobiographical, the protagonist bring it all back to ‘where is all began’. Neat little framing device, but it gives me the illusion that it’s impossible to fail at this game.

We starts inside the character’s bedroom, they’re a student living with his mother in a house with strange architecture. The Tutorial is awful. It’s one of those running start tutorial where the game guides you through your first game, but it’s incredibly restrictive. Once the game told me that I could ‘Buy new upgrades by using the PC’ and I said ‘Sod off, I only have $20 to my name.’ but the game FORCED me to browse the stupid faux-online shop. Cool.

The music and sound design is pure garbage. It sounds like the developer found the cheapest sound designer they could, presented them with a CD of Royalty Free Elevator music and asked for a ‘less flashy’ version of it.

matching
The game plays a lot like The Movies with all the depth removed. You create a video, select a game to play. Play a little card game, try to maximise your score. Get views and subscribers. Then do it again. Once your video is rendered and uploaded, you can read the comments left by the views and see where you need to improve. This part is very unrealistic, all my character made was ‘League of Giants’ (nice parody guys) videos and my subscribers complained that they were getting sick of seeing the same game over and over. If you’ve ever seen a MOBA channel, the opposite is true. League of Legends and DOTA are like crack cocaine to Koreans. Can’t get enough. Like every goddamn game on the market these days.

Youtuber’s Life has RPG elements. First you have your overall level. You gain experience for doing, anything, really. Every odd number level, you unlock Perks called ‘Talent Points’. It’s a two pronged skill tree, effectively. Most the perks are lazy like “Gain +6% more views on Execution videos or whatever” but you get to unlock new video types. You start off only able to do Gameplay videos but when you level up, you can do FIRST IMPRESSION videos. Wow. Amazing. You have multiple skills, including ‘Acting’, ‘Editing’ ‘Post-Production’, ‘Scripting’ and some other shit. You level up all the skills at the same time when you make videos, so it doesn’t matter.

Fear not, there’s lots more tedious shit to do. You’ve also got to repair your PC, Go study, Upgrade your computer parts, do child work for pocket money, interact with other histrionic idiots and complete side missions. While you’re under your mothers roof, you have to study regularly. Studying what? Who knows. I deliberately ignored study to see hat would happen. Very little. Usually these side tasks occur when other characters just barge into your house and say “Oh, I need to review Hentai Castle 4 but my keyboard is all sticky, can you edit the video for me?’ then you get a free game and you do the task in two seconds and they give you money.

The way time passes in this game makes no sense. In other games, you have to maximise your time management. You have a limited amount of time to do stuff. In this, you can do whatever at any time. You have food and energy meter, but they drain slowly. I tried to murder my character by draining his energy bar and hunger bar completely. I send him to work non-stop. Like a good little employee, he never complained, he never protested, he never pierced his urethra with a pitchfork.

In the end, I was no match for his indomitable force of will, so I gave up. In his absence, his channel only lost, like, ten subscribers. Speaking of money, you can work various odd jobs (HA! In this economy?) to earn some extra cash. You can work various hours for various wages, your character does get seriously gipped though. $20 for two hours of washing cars? There’s no option to work part or full time, because a.) Time doesn’t mean anything and b.) YouTubers are generally useless.

y6uYour character can get invited to events by friends you accidentally made somehow. While at these events, you can talk with new people annddd…. That’s it. They’re completely pointless. At a gaming convention I easily beat the high score on the space invaders minigame and won an exclusive console! No, sorry, I meant I won the ABILITY to buy a console. Amazing.

There’s a social system to that, shock horror, is barely there. You talk to people then they like you and invite you to shit, then you can date them or whatever. After a while, networking really paid off. Some dude invited me to move in with him. I’d have to pay for food and rent, but I’d finally stop getting bitched at by mom. I paid the bond and went for it. I was teleported into a one bedroom apartment with one double bed. Apparently when he ask me to ‘Move in with him’. I misunderstood. Just like real life, I found that life outside the nest was a lot more tedious. I was now able to take courses to level up some of my video skills… but it costs money and I could do the same thing making videos.

I could get better odd jobs… but I still got paid jack-all. Worst of all, I had to pay for my own food. I opened up the little fridge and found that Water and Bread were unlimited resources, making the whole system pointless. I ate some bread.. my character went through a two second animation… and my hunger metre only went up a pixel. I uninstalled the game.

I had high hopes for this review. I thought I could make a quirky little Youtuber character and tell you how he rose to the top, but I cannot stomach this game. You can only be one character. You cannot fail, you can only be inefficient. The social interaction system has no reason to exist. You grind to level up to do more effective grinding. The customisation system is a joke. There’s no element of parody anywhere. Nothing about this is clever.

Worst of all, It commits the ultimate sin of video games, it’s boring. Simulation games are fun because you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Each run is a unique story. In The Sims, you can raise a dysfunctional family of scientists, whose house keeps burning down.

In the Total War Games, you can end up invading Ireland…. as India. In Euro Truck Simulator, you accidentally bankrupt your company by powersliding your best Isuzu into a Gas Station in Dusseldorf.

In Youtuber’s Life, you make videos. Then you make more videos. Then you win the game. The game is in Early access, but the base gameplay is so dull, it’ll take some serious revamping to make it even remotely fun. I’d rather fly to Perth on Jetstar with twelve screaming children next to me than deal with this game.

YOUTUBER’S LIFE REVIEW! BIG BOOBS MEME PRANK [GONE SEXUAL]
As thrilling as filling in tax forms
Gameplay1
Audio1
Engine9
Fun0.1
Artistic Merit1.5
PROS
  • Stable Engine
  • I got a lot of stuff done while I put off playing this game
CONS
  • Very little Customisation options
  • Monotonous Gameplay
  • Soulless
2Overall Score
Reader Rating: (1 Vote)
0.7

About The Author

Nigel Mckenzie-Ryan

News Bloke at 95bFM, Contributor bloke at Debate Magazine, Aspiring comedian

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.